When I created this blog one of my main intentions was to write regularly on my findings about pastoral theology. I'm new to ministry (consider I have not even been a pastor for 7 months) so I am learning as I go. For me, one of the best ways I can learn is to be reflective and that reflection usually takes the form of writing. This will be the first, of hopefully, many entries on what I'm learning. Points I make in the future may be different or even at odds with earlier ones: but that is to be expected when you are learning and (hopefully) growing.
This past Monday night I had trouble sleeping and as I lay there my mind turned towards Bob Harper, the Biggest Loser, and Pastoral Theology. So that is what I will talk about today.
Our move to Pennsylvania was a difficult transition for me. I grew up very close to my parents and very close to friends (some of whom I've known since I was 9!) and never really lived for an extended period of time far from home. I grew up in a city where I was used to side walks and large stores close by. Obviously, this is different from my current living situation. I'm not complaining, far from it, just setting the context for my move.
Add with that the fact that for the very first two weeks, and then six more weeks a month later, my wife lived in Columbus so I was living here on my own, while I struggled to learn how to be a minister, on my own. Ministry is a lonely call, I've known that all along, so that too was not a surprise nor a complaint.
To throw one more ingredient into the mix is my firm belief that a pastor can never be friends with members of his congregation. He can be friendly towards them, certainly should be loving at all times, but friends is another matter altogether. Friendship can get in the way of successful ministry. Dr. Jaco Hamman really drove that point home for me during seminary. I agree with him, and it is something I have carried with me into my first call. Yes, it heightens the feeling of isolation at times but since I expected that from the beginning I was prepared.
While my wife was away during those many weeks I watched a lot more TV than I am accustomed too. (There is only so much one can read in the evening after a lot of mentally taxing work during the day). One of the shows I started to watch was The Biggest Loser. The premise of the Biggest Loser is that overweight contestants compete to lose the most weight. They are divided into teams and each team is led by a professional trainer. By far, the most popular trainer is Bob Harper.
Bob Harper is known for being tough and for having contestants who produce results. One evening while watching the show, Bob told a contestant (paraphrased): "I'm not your friend and I'm not interested in being your friend. I'm interested in helping you lose weight so that you can be healthy and live." Immediately I thought, "What a great definition for a pastor."
Pastor's aren't in ministry to make friends with their parishioners, they are in ministry to see their parishioner believe in Jesus and successfully follow Jesus so that they can be "healthy" and live.
When the Apostle Paul wrote to the church in Galatia he wrote what is arguably his most passionate letter. At the outset, presumably because he knew the things he was about to say would be harsh, Paul set the Galatians straight on something very important: he was not trying to please them or make them happy. After expressing his "astonishment" that they have turned their back on the gospel to believe, what is in essence, nothing at all Paul says, "Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ." (Galatians 1.10 NIV)
Pastoral theology insight #1: Pastor's are not people pleasers. Our call is not to make people happy. Our call is to proclaim the gospel of Christ (1st Timothy 1.3-7). Being a people pleaser is not synonymous with making friends, but it is closely related in that you want your friends to be happy. I want people to be happy, but I don't care if they are not. I do care if they know Christ and the power of his resurrection and share in his sufferings so that they are, ever more and ever more, becoming like him in his death and somehow attaining to the resurrection from the dead. (Phil 3.10-11). That is what I care about. And that really is not very different from the attitude Bob Harper has about the contestants on the biggest loser--only the consequences for the training sessions I lead are related to eternal life and not a happy retirement.
1 comment:
Dear Chasidic Calvinist,
I think your boldness in your statement is authentic. Your statement that you don't care if people are happy as long as they are saved, may need some self clarification, as you develope into a mature Pastor. I have a feeling you are a very caring person.
I've seen the lack of "joy and happiness" in knowing Christ and the Assurance of Salvation, in the faces of whole Congregations after listening to the interpretations of certain scriptures "Reformed Preachers" want their ministry to strictly focus on.
Do you want your Congregation to experience the kind of joy in knowing Christ that will help the lost, in wanting to attend your church, hungry to hear the word?
Why would the lost want what your Congregation has in Christ, if your Congregation lacks "happiness or joy" in knowing Christ? Another words why would the lost want what your congregation has in Christ? Why would the lost even consider coming into to your Congregation, with a Pastor who doesn't "care"?
I would be very concerned for the Spiritul health of a Congregation, if I walked into church full of unhappy Christians even if they were saved.
Even in Preaching Styles the Born-Again are not all alike, some want "truth" talk behind a bully pulpit. Some want "Truth" to be balanced. Some want "Truth" delivered but with good manners.
I hope you as a "Reformist" will understand that if people decide they don't want to be around negative energy because it effects their ability to be a witness and they move on, you won't verbally retaliate against them behind the pulpit.
When one style of preaching "truth" judges another style of "Preaching Truth" they make themselves "elites". God is going to judge us all, so I try to take a careful approach in judging but I know I have failed even in writing this bold note to you.
I think in some of the Reformed Seminaries the mentality to constantly teach young preachers to continually remind Congregations that they don't deserve salvation is reckless. (a few times year might be OK, but not 5 to 10 times a month) They are dangerously close of being "elites" unpurposely becoming the Pharisee, described in Mark chapter 2.
If a parent were to remind the their kid (everytime) when they didn't make their bed "military style" and then remind them they get to eat even though they don't deserve it, would be abusive.
If a Preacher is taught to take Pride in themselves, to repetively mention they aren't "People Pleasers" or "Ear Ticklers", something deep rooted may be going on. They may have an abusive edge that embraces and provokes strife, not only in their Congregation but in their personal lives as well, which may be Un-Godly.
A friend of mine who proclaims to be Born-Again, is prideful of not being a "People Pleaser". He surrounds himself with turmoil and misery (loves to watch the congregation endure hard preaching) My friend is going to angur management and his gentle and loyal wife of 40 years, has to get away from him.
If Preachers are going to verbally abuse and bully their Congregation focusing on certain "truths", will they be even more abusive with their own family?
I present this challenge to you because I knew of a very aggresssive Pastor who experienced divorce. He prided himself, mentioning behind the pulpit, he isn't a "People Pleaser" or "Ear Tickler". (my impression from his son who attends Bible School, this Pastor didn't accept very much responsibility for the collapse of the marriage, my impression was he may have been mentally abusive)
In scriptures it says that husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the church.
Brother in Christ
David Adams
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